Hello

     I am in my room. I am here alone, and sometimes with my roommate.  This is not Thailand, and no one comes visit me from Thailand because that’s so far, and long twenty six hours on airplane.

        My roommate is in our room.

       “Are you feeliing better?"

I smile to her. I do not say anything, but I look at her. And keep sleeping. I just don’t need to wake up because I just had a great dream, my mom was the main actress. I try to sleep again, but I can’t. I’m thinking about mom, but I need to stop think anything because I have a headache. I close my eyes. 

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       “I have a headache, I have a fever,” I say and I’m crying in torturously.

       “Are you feeling better?,” says Mom.

I smile to her. I do not say anything, but I look at her, and keep looking. I don’t need to sleep because I just had a terrible dream, and my mom was the main actress. Mom tries to get me up. She touches me, and feels my fever.

        “(“You should rest,”)” she says.

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     My roomate Julia sounds worried.

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     My mom comes back after she’s gone. She comes back with an enameled basin, and some warm water inside, two terry clothes, cool fever gel pads, any medicines, some warm water, a teaspoon, and some my favorite food.

 

I am sleeping, she rubs my body dry. She taps lightly cool fever gel pads to me. She provide medicines to me. She changes, and puts clothes to me. I’m little annoying her because I’m sleeping, so she turns over myself, but I know she does because she’s worrying, and  takingcare of me. And then she comes sleep by me, and embraces.

       ‘I hear a coughing sound from her. Why her take care of me, but does not take care herself,’ think I.  

       It’s a time I have to go have meal, and she wakes up to ask me about………...

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      “Hey, Naphat!,” types Maria Jose.

      “(“She is really sick,”)” says Julia to Portia.

      “I’ll tell Tera,” Portia says.

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      “She is really sick, come to look at her,” calls my aunt.

My mom very sicks, she is cancer patient. I take care of her with everything I could, I do the best I could. I see her watch my singing videos, and she smiles, she tells a nurse who is taking care of her to stop talking. I have to go to keep studying. I go to my school at night, and I just close my eyes.

      In the morning.

      Someone call me, “Your mom………...I’m sorry, she’s gone,” ………….

 

I don’t feel anything even if I don’t feel.

 

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      I’m sad. Why did I come back to school?  I remember everything she did.

 

     December 23, 2013.

She had to operated her lung cancer, that’s day I had to perform in a school. She didn’t go to a hospital on time. She told Doctor that she needs to go 2 hours after that. She dresses up. Everything looks beautiful. I remember her diamond eyes. Her curly hair. Her dress.

 

  I’m not regretful about how she’s gone because I did the best I could. I did everything for her. I took care of her. I miss you so much mom. Are you staying around me? I believe so. I believe her diamond eyes will look at me forever,

 

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……...and I’ll meet you one day, my sweet heart.