Don't Know

 

Sometimes one stands at the edge of a cliff, and must decide to jump or back away. My arms are shaking and confusion is the only thing I feel right now. I look around me and I feel myself drowning while everyone is living with a beating heart. Toxic thoughts flood my mind and my knees feel weaker than ever. The inevitable pain flowing through my blood and draining my brain from any power or ability to think clearly. My hair blows out of my face with the cold air. My senses come back to life and I feel my fingertips along my lips, I am real. My finger move up to my eyes where the wet salty tears run down them and to my wrist. Every drop holding a different memory of this life I don’t own anymore. Smiling faces look at me with pitiful looks, I don’t know them. Behind the smiles they launch words like daggers to my heart, they don’t know I'm already dead. I take step forward, hard rocks pushing on the soles of my feet. Hard rocks filling my lungs, no room for me to breathe. Hard rocks in my throat, impossible to swallow. Hard rocks in my heart, I don’t feel. I take another step and I’m flying, my hair dancing like silhouettes in the air. Everything moves in slow motion and they throw a collection of feelings at me like a bullets straight to my heart. They throw sad faces and memories. They throw speeches of their endless love for me. They don’t know I won't come back.